What is what to do when someone with complex ptsd pushes you away?

When someone with complex PTSD pushes you away, it's often rooted in fear, past trauma, and difficulty with vulnerability. Here's how to navigate the situation:

  • Understand the "Why": Recognize that the pushing away is likely a defense mechanism. It's not necessarily about you; it's about their internal struggle with trust, intimacy, and the fear of getting hurt.

  • Give Them Space: Respect their need for distance. Pushing back or demanding closeness will likely intensify their fear and reinforce the behavior. This doesn't mean abandoning them, but allowing them to process their emotions.

  • Communicate Empathy and Understanding: When you do connect, validate their feelings. Acknowledge that you understand they need space and that you're there for them when they're ready. For example, "I understand you need some time to yourself right now. I want you to know I'm here for you when you're ready to talk." Avoid minimizing their feelings or offering unsolicited advice.

  • Be Consistent and Predictable: Consistency is key. Erratic behavior from your end can trigger their anxiety. Be reliable in your words and actions. Let them know when you'll be in touch next, and follow through.

  • Manage Your Expectations: Recovery from complex PTSD is a long and challenging process. Don't expect immediate changes or constant progress. Be patient and celebrate small victories.

  • Take Care of Yourself: Supporting someone with complex PTSD can be emotionally draining. Set healthy boundaries for yourself. Ensure you have your own support system and engage in activities that replenish your energy. Don't neglect your own needs.

  • Encourage Professional Help: Gently encourage them to seek therapy if they aren't already. Professional guidance is crucial for healing from trauma. Let them know that you support their journey to healing.